Pearline

It's no longer important whether is there any disappoinment. God is not giving us any chances. His not giving us time. His not giving me any sympathy. I feel so unfair. I gave up time because i think for others. And i get this in return. Being good to people always have good outcome. But why do i have a fucking outcome. It sucks, it makes me so depressed now. This, i'm facing now is tearing the cheerful and positive me apart. I never acted like this before. I never coped in my room for freaking 2 days before. I never act like a kid before. I never needed ppl to cheer me up no matter how down i am before. But why the hell am i acting like this for one who only gained my trust, with such unfair time. I'm just so late.. Are we fated to not be, or is the greatest i'll have to go through. Let time tell me why is this happening like this in months time. If i have.... It'll be the greatest obstacle i'll ever go through. If i don't, we're meant not to be. Imaginations, sounds are happening in this room. Why am i like this. Do i need so much? I'm tired. Telling myself to slp since 2am. And it's 3.25am now. The time is passing too fast at the wrong time. I've to do everything quietly, that's even torturous. I'm so pathetic. I am....

I have not felt it, why do this.